MAIN HOON KI NAHI......................

She left me and left me for good, unconsciously and fanatically I kept trying finding the reasons. What annoyed her and what was my mistake; I couldn’t fathom. My umpteenth attempt to call her, meet her and even see her seems vague. She decided to leave me. I still remember the day when she called me in private and asked me to return her snap. The last possession of our deprived and unfortunate love was almost gone. I wanted to talk to her a lot, to apologize of what mistake I had made moreover to hold her hand and never let her go. But the only thing I could do is crying. She was stern and left behind me veiling. With every passing day my frustration dwindled and so do my hatred with her. No longer had I stopped going school until she left coming to school. I hearsay that she mingled with a new guy, people also say that they had been together for years; the rift of their relation is filled and she chose him over me. I had grudges with her; I truly hated her like anything however I could not deprived me from the memories when we were together. I tried to unsolve the logic and reason when we parted. Will she ever miss me? Will she ever repent of her misunderstanding? Time rolls on rosy wings and memory fades until one day I receive a message of alumni meet suppose to held in my college. It’s been years since I ever remember anything good of my college days specially the memories of forbidden love. “What a miss” I recollected the memories; I never wanted to curse the fate, deity and my love again. I refused to attend and in fact I didn’t want to until I came to her arrival with her family. It was not pleasant at all but a fastened need to see her family specially her husband. My years waiting ended when she appeared. I avoided people’s discussion but all I could sense talking them in ears. By gosh! Should I care whom did she marry? Especially someone who didn’t stand anywhere, why she chose him over me was still out of my apprehension. But finally I have a big reason to curse her for her so called HUSBAND and to raise a question mark of her marital choice.
Perhaps that is life; boy likes girl and girl also like boy. They make a perfect couple and people make stories of their affairs. Everything goes fine until some monstrous person enters in their life. In my case it was his husband. I laughed in heart. I also questioned the divine judgment. I knew it was all crap talking and thinking of gone by years. At least now I had a story with a reason to tell everyone and most importantly to solace me for that matter. Year’s hatred and jealousy cast away. Felt glee and decided to celebrate it. People, dishes, surrounding and everything else transformed all of sudden. People astonished with the sudden behavioral change of mine.
For the first time after years I felt great, dishes seem palatable, lights were scintillating and the blowing wind was aromatic and energetic. I could not refrain myself and joined the group of armature dancers. I danced and danced so much as if I am dancing in my marriage. I was curious to know everything people talking about her and her husband. It really feels good when someone talk evil of your enemy. It was no his fault and perhaps he is not aware of that for sure. But unintentionally he earned the hatred of other. “A perfect example of mis-matched couple” I heard someone commenting on her husband. Another voice appeared, “I wonder what she liked to marry such a geek.”
What if we were married each other? We raise smart kids, she got the beauty and I got the brain, our off springs would have been blessed with both. Not like the one, she is blessed with. I was engrossed until she called her son. “Dev, let’s go we are getting late.” and that was the time our eyes met. It glued for a fiction of moment. We didn’t say anything. I felt numbed. The undigested food of my stomach was about to come out. The happiness was gone. Again I have several questions unanswered and again she left me clueless. Several vague ideas poping up in my mind; does she still love me? And if so then why she left me? The only thing I felt good about was the pleasantry of being with for good. The biggest lesson I learnt that day, to love someone is good and to be loved is great but to be with someone no matter to be or not to be with someone is divine.” MAIN HOON KI NAHI…………..