CONGRATULATION!!! YOU ARE DUMPED

It’s been almost half an hour sitting in a café and just gazing the menu card as if I am doing some research on it and ordering nothing. Steward hovered around twice to check whether I have made up my mind or mere passing the time occupying a crucial business space. However I assured him that I am expecting my girl friend and order once she is there. I am not sure how much I could convince him but at least assured him a future prospect.
A little later she appeared in the café, with long pink frock, wearing light make up and mascara on eye lids. The more I saw her, the more I fell in love with her. At time I wonder why and how God made girls so beautiful. The conversation started with usual topic but a peculiar way.
Girl: - “Sorry Gaurav, I am late you know the usual traffic jam. It took me almost two hours to reach here from Karol Bagh.” (The very first thing that gave me an alarming note was her apology. She never says sorry. More over I knew that she is lying, was it traffic or the make-up that cause her delay. Although I could not dare to ask her.)
Me:- “Anyway, let it be (oops! How dare me to cut her short). Looking gorgeous in pink dress. (I already amended my ways). Would you like something? (Anyway I have to pay the bill).
Girl: - “Thank you So much Gaurav. You know how much effort I had to make to get this dress. I searched almost every shop of Rajouri to find it. (I wonder why girls don’t simply choose what they want. Confusion is a state of mind of girls.)
[Mean while the steward appeared again.]
Me:- “one Cappuccino and one café Mocha” I ordered. So is there anything very urgent as you called me at once. (I know I am like modern days Lord Hanuman that comes to evict all your suffering and problems.) I questioned her.
Girl: - “See Gaurav, first you have to make a promise that you would not over react what I am going to say to you? (Premonition of any misery alarmed my brain cells. The celluloid scene of often used vintage movies appeared in my thoughts. Is she pregnant? .....Wait a minute; when I lost my celibacy? There might be some other reason I thought for a while and felt stupid.)
Me:- “ok, I promise you but for God sake stop making puzzle.
Girl: - you are very sweet, caring and adorable guy. (I wonder when someone appreciates me this way, I know it well but you realized it too late I guess.) When I think of gone by days we spent together; it fills my heart with romance and joy. You have always been a great listener (as if I ever had a choice to avoid her), motivator (I still repent for the time when I suggested her to learn cookery and that deprived me from the luxury of homemade food she used to bring for me) and a great friend. (A friend? I guess I am your boy friend. Am I downgraded or she said it by mistake?) But Gaurav, What I realized is that our relationship is not sustainable. The fact is that I don’t feel you like my boy friend. (So, it took you so long to find that I don’t match with your criterion; as if you have any?) So I think we should get separated. But you will remain a good friend of mine. (Holy Shit!! As if I’ll be always in suffering for long.) you can get any girl better than me. (Humm, at least that consoles me, perhaps I would have thought it a little earlier.) In fact I’ll help you to find one (and what if she had the same temperament.) to avoid the break down, I drifted my view to the television where news of separation of Hritik & Susain was hot topic. News flashed quoting that this separation will cost Hritik Rs. 400 cr. (400 cr. alimony! If I had that much I would never marry.)
The idea of asking for alimony seems appealing to me. Why should I not ask for alimony after all I have done so much for her, not merely sacrificing my pocket money (spent on her clothes and gifts) but my time and effort; hovering like stupid from one shop to another for a pair of sandals and much more. I still feel dumb as why I could not say this to her. Meanwhile the advertisement of Honda Pleasure appeared featuring Priyanka Chopra, with the tag line, “why should boys have all the fun?” I burst out into laughter. Neither my girl friend nor other people could understand the reason.
Next day I saw her shopping with my best friend. I smiled on the thought about the fun that only boys have had so far; the fun of being dumped.






Piece of advice: - A break-up can be so humorous to remember forever. Hope you will enjoy (My break-up) it. God forbid but just in case you come across any such situation just remember it and move on.
Disclaimer: - All the instance and incident cited here for fun only, they are not intend for mockery of any celebrity, place, brand, community or ethnicity or gender.