INFIDELITY- A Blessing in Disguise

“A man can be happy with any women; as long as he does not love her.”-Oscar Wilde.

The more I think and heard about it, the more curiosity it generated to be explored further. Nevertheless I could not develop any definite reason and result as why it so crucial and why people don’t mind crossing the social and moral threshold despite having a marital or social commitment. The blasphemy of commitment and trust is almost at the verge of breaking. Unveiling the secret might not be considered as perfect solution neither did keeping a silence. To understand the social and environmental impact over the human behavior might throw some light on it.  To make it more candid and precise we need to begin from where it actually started, here I have mentioned certain social and psychological phenomenon and tried to make a clear picture of it.

a)      Opposite attracts: - Despite having several years of learning we often sideline the thumb rule of attraction. We love differentiation, we have a complex breed and so do with our behavior pattern we love heterogeneity. And after spending certain time duration our life become monotonous, men are often consider and trill and challenge lover where as women love fun and adventure. After a certain period of time when we are almost settled in life, someone enter into and rejuvenate the fastened feeling. Something that we have almost forgone ago. We look around and again expect the same behavior pattern from our partner, failing which will lead to infidelity.

b)      Rules are meant to be broken: - Usually it has been observed that too much obligation and strutted life style leads to infidelity. However it cannot be proved altogether yet on practical grounds one might seek an opportunity to bypass the law. Relaxation and personal space is must in any relation, keeping a taboo on trifles irritates people and prolonging it can be fatal, i.e. Food, exercise, personal care, chores etc.

c)      Too much indulgence is dangerous: - You cannot be perfect, so stop pretending to be one. Give some space to everyone, be it your child, parents, daily work, or your routine. Again do not try to be stereotyped. Give your partner surprises, plan get together, go out on family vacations and so on. Too much indulgence is a sign of ignorance and ignorance leads to cheating.

d)      Developing a hobby of mutual collaboration: - Work as a team and develop a hobby of mutual interest. This will not only bring partners close but fasten the bond of love and trust. If husband loves cricket and wife loves cookery why can we club it together. Husband will help wife to cook delicious food/snacks before the match or in the interval and they will watch the match together. Remember that the habit of infidelity does not develop overnight, it takes time and most of time people have affairs with their colleague and seniors.

e)      Realize the importance: - One should not forget that every relation is based on mutual love care and most importantly the value of the partner. Your partner will stand by you till you make him/her realize that how important he/she is. Ask for suggestion, advice and consult with your partner but don’t try to bug him.

f)       Commendation is good: - Try to exalt good things about your partner. It works as magic. But it should be always from heart only lip service won’t do any good. Appreciation for good deed not only motivates doers to keep it on but create a trust and understanding for others as well.

g)      Greed is not always good: - The age of unisex, people love flaunting their social and political influence over others. Macho Man and Diva has become a hall mark of personality. Sexy is no more a vulgarity but a compliment. The repercussion between real identity and wanna be is so ferocious that people afraid to lag behind or to be out casted socially. People try to flash back the gone by time and personality and this result a brawl in real life. In patriarchal society having many partners is a matter of pride where as for women it’s matter of physical and mental gratification.

h)      Elusion is easy: - one most of the common misconception of infidelity is easy elusion. People often believe that they will never being caught. And if so, there will be a second chance for sure. Unfortunately we seldom think of ill consequence while thinking of infidelity. Forgiveness is divine but does it the only solution that one is having. Many research and psychological findings proved that forgiveness is considered as avoidance and sooner or later one might take the undue advantage of the same. Secondly it does not insure the non repetition of same mistake.

i)        Bad is good: - we have categorized things into two sections namely the good and the bad. For every good thing we have concept of reward and appreciation where as for bad we have laws and punishment system. We refrain doing bad things because we have provisions and laws for that, where as infidelity is a state of mind and there is no such provision in law and society but the separation and aloofness. In law criminal and wrong doer will be prosecuted and it will provide a safe guard for victim, but in moral grounds since infidelity is not a crime so the suffering and pain would be bear by the victim only.

j)        False ego satisfaction: - one most and common phenomenon of infidelity is avoidance of other’s feeling and emotions. We often create walls around us and consider us most superior and better than our partners and that leads to infidelity. False ego will land you nowhere. Polygamy has never earned a good repute nor it will last forever; being womanizer is a social evil even though you mis-interpreted it.

k)      Celibacy is good, practice it: -There is nothing more precious than celibacy and patience. So practice it. Everything has its time, let the perfect time come to enjoy your maturity. The best thing takes time to take place let it should not end with repent and sorrow for life time.

l)        Commitment is virtue, don’t expect it from cheap people: -Commitment is good to make but difficult to keep it. Cheap people often avoid commitment because they cannot adhere to their words. Be a man of words, set an example of good deed rather known for ill cause.

m)   Be in the preference not the choice: - Never let others remember you or get along with a choice be in the list of priority. Choices lead to infidelity. You have option so you would go for trying it. Come rain or shine stay with your partner, you will reduce the chance of losing him/her. Stand by in odd days; never impose your suggestion on others.

n)      Listen but don’t advice: - Everyone has his/her own heuristics way of taking or opting any suggestion. So let them decide what is good and what is not. People not always share their concern because they want advice rather they want someone to give ears to their concern. Imposters and swindlers often take the advantage of it. They touch the vulnerable point of yours and gradually become a parasite of life time.

o)      Fool’s paradise: - Cheating someone for other is like buying a new house because the light bulb of the house is gone. One can never be happy if they believe that they can be much happy and there will be more joy and excitement outside. Remember you cannot get everything so stop running for it. Satisfaction is good provided you want to pursue it.

To be continued further…………………………